Manuela Mulondo: “I wanted to be the man” — How control and incompatibility nearly broke our marriage

• Manuela says their biggest issues came from “small things” and deep incompatibility, not major betrayals.
• She admits she “wanted to be the man,” making decisions independently and resisting her husband’s leadership.
• Personal healing and self-awareness played a key role in saving their marriage.

Manuela P Mulondo has opened up about the marital struggles she has previously faced with her husband, media personality Brian Mulondo. Appearing on a podcast hosted by Emeka, Manuela recounted how part of these challenges were orchestrated by herself. She stated that she wanted to be the man.

According to Manuela, their issues were not rooted in major scandals like infidelity, but rather in what she described as “small, tiny things” that gradually built up. At the core of it all was a deep sense of incompatibility driven by their different backgrounds and personal experiences.

“I was in a place where I was like a man in the marriage. I was making decisions from a place of pain,” she admitted.

Manuela explained that she entered marriage carrying unresolved wounds from her past, including growing up in a broken home and experiencing painful encounters earlier in life. While she believed she had overcome these struggles, they quietly shaped how she showed up in her marriage.

“I came into the marriage with a lot of pain and wounds. But I didn’t know, because I had risen above it,” she said.

Her independence and success at the time also fueled the tension. Working in the banking sector, she was earning well and rising fast in her career—something that made her feel she did not need to submit or rely on her husband.

“What do you mean I have to listen to you as a leader? I can earn the way you earn,” she recalled of her mindset at the time.

This desire to take control led to repeated clashes, as she made major decisions without consulting her husband. Over time, these patterns strained the relationship and pushed them to the brink.

Manuela, however, acknowledged her role in the conflict, noting that growth only began when she reflected on her actions and worked on becoming a better version of herself.